What I can\u2019t control<\/em> \u2014 just let it go.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

Remember, you can never control someone\u2019s reaction, but you can always plan. If you need to have a courageous conversation, think through what you want to say and the desired outcome. Stop imagining the worst-case scenario and bringing it back to the present moment and living as if it is reality. The truth is sometimes, all you can control in the moment is your breath. One mindful breath is enough to insert a mental pause button so you can respond rather than react.<\/p>\n

Own your thoughts.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cYou feel the way you think. When you can change the way you THINK, you can change the way you FEEL\u201d \u2014 David D. Burns<\/p>\n

When your external world feels entirely out of control, remember you always have the choice to control your inner world. Owning your headspace begins with owning your thoughts. Your self-talk and what you communicate to yourself have a significant impact on how you project yourself to the rest of the world. If the inner critic takes over the show and tells you that you are not enough and your life is hopeless, you will generate feelings of hopelessness, overwhelm, and fear.<\/p>\n

When you can interrupt your negative thinking pattern and channel your inner cheerleader, you will create feelings of optimism, joy, and happiness. It doesn\u2019t mean you will experience sunshine and rainbows every day, but your self-talk will determine the way you navigate these challenging moments. Instead of telling yourself, \u2018how could you be so stupid?\u2019, adopt a learning mindset and ask yourself\u200a\u2014\u200a\u2018what is this here to teach me, and what can I learn from this?\u2019<\/p>\n

Gratitude is the one thing you can always rely on to help steer your thinking away from overwhelm and anxiety. It is the thing you know but seems to fall off the radar when you need it most. It is not a tool that you can \u2018break in case of emergency\u2019. It is the one practice you can turn to no matter what, and it will never let you down. Greg McKeown said it so beautifully in his book Effortless, \u201cIf you focus on what you have, you gain what you lack<\/strong>. And if you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have.\u201d<\/p>\n

Own your\u00a0state.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Enjoy what you can and ignore the rest. Let\u2019s not waste any energy fighting things that are outside our control. Paulo Coelho<\/p>\n

In the book \u2018The Four Sacred Secrets\u2019 by Preethaji and Krishnaji, they pose a powerful question:<\/p>\n

\u201cRecognise the state in which you have spent most of the past year. If this state were to become your mental and emotional baseline for the rest of your life, would you be a happy person or an unhappy person? Please see the truth.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the book, they differentiate between a beautiful state or a suffering state. Suffering refers to stress, overwhelm, anxiety and frustration. A beautiful state is defined as \u201cserenity, happiness, gratitude, love or courage. The essence of a beautiful state is the absence of conflicting mental chatter, a greater presence to life, and a richer connection to the people around you.\u201d<\/p>\n

When you have a time scarcity mindset, there is a constant fear that you won\u2019t get it all done. This sense of overwhelm is often what leads to habits like procrastination which only adds to your stress. How can you replace this with a beautiful state? Adopt a time abundance mindset. I don\u2019t mean you have unlimited hours available, but you can choose the state you show up to your work. What energy are you bringing to it? Frustration and resentment or excitement and contentment? Instead of being so militant and tell yourself that you have to get through everything on your to-do list that day, choose your top three priorities and aim for progress.\u00a0Schedule in time, block that time and protect it like a warrior. Give it your complete focus and create a micro-win, the first step of the goal or the first LEGO brick in your creation. When you have started and created momentum on something that matters to you, your entire state shifts. You cannot create more hours, but you can choose to create better hours.<\/p>\n

State control is body awareness.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In addition to controlling your mindset, you can also control your body language and posture to catapult you into a beautiful state. If you sat hunched over and closed off, your physiology will signal to yourself and others a sense of anguish. If you hold yourself upright, your shoulders back, and a big smile on your face, you are triggering a different biochemical reaction in the body. Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy says:<\/p>\n

\u2018The way you carry yourself is a source of personal power. In this context, it doesn\u2019t mean we will always get the result we desire; instead, it means that we will come away from every interaction feeling that we fully and accurately represented who we are and what we want.\u2019 If you conducted a body language audit right now\u200a\u2014\u200ahow are you sitting? Are your arms folded or resting on your chair? Are your shoulders hunched or upright? Is your jaw clenched or relaxed?\u00a0The more awareness you can bring to your body language, the more you can trigger a beautiful state. Amy reminds us that we tend to sit in a powerless posture way more often than we realise.<\/p>\n

No matter what is going on in your life, you can always control your body language bringing instant control over your inner world.<\/p>\n

Own your intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Accept what is, let go of what was, have faith in what will be. Sonia Ricotti<\/p>\n

No matter your external circumstances, you can always control your intention before taking action. It\u2019s very easy to read something inspiring, have a sugar-rush high and commit to change. Those challenging moments can quickly go out of the window when stress takes over, and you focus on everything external that you have no control over.<\/p>\n

Choose to set an intention of who you want to be in that moment and then set triggers to keep you on track. Set an alarm in your phone that says \u2018Bold, confident, present, compassionate\u2019 or choose the words that resonate with you. Put post-it notes on your computer or your phone screensaver. Ask yourself:<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Who do I want to be in this situation?<\/p>\n

\u00b7 How do I want my team to remember me during this time?<\/p>\n

\u00b7 How do I want to show up for my family?<\/p>\n

\u00b7 What skill do I want to demonstrate in this meeting?<\/p>\n

\u00b7 What is the desired outcome of this tough conversation?<\/p>\n

The more intentional you are about who you want to be, the more present you will be in the moment and take ownership of your thoughts, focus and state. \u201cJust keep in mind: the more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.\u201d \u2014 Epictetus<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s to letting go of control,<\/p>\n

Warm wishes<\/em><\/p>\n

Lori<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n