4 Signs Your Relationship With Money Is Messed Up (and How to Fix It ASAP)

If you’re reading this and wondering whether it is possible to have a relationship with money, the answer is yes, it is possible. We all have a relationship with money and this relationship is largely determined by our individual personalities, values, income, and other factors. While some people are penny pinchers, there are others who live by the phrase; “if I perish, I perish, let me chop the life of my head”.

There are levels to this money relationship thing, but finding a healthy balance is very crucial. So, if you’re at either extreme (miser or compulsive spender), it means you have an unhealthy relationship with money which you should fix in order to avoid money troubles.

FIGURE OUT WHERE YOU STAND

A balanced money relationship simply connotes that you feel reasonably content with your money. It also implies that your approach to money acquisition or spending will not put you at risk of financial difficulties.

To figure out where your relationship with money stands, you should ask yourself certain questions and answer truthfully. For example, do you think money is the root of all evil and something that should be avoided in its entirety? Or, are you someone who’s never content with money and can do anything, like commit a crime, to make some? Do you have a phobia for spending money, or, are you a compulsive spender?   If you answered at least a yes to any of these questions, then you’re not doing well.

ASSESS YOUR WANTS VERSUS YOUR NEEDS

The next step to fixing your relationship with money is to assess your wants versus your needs. If you can not bring yourself to spend money even when you have it, then you need to understand that money is made to afford you the basic necessities of life. So, to ease the guilt that you probably feel when spending money, it may help to identify the things that are absolutely important and make room for them in your finances. Good examples are rent, food and transportation.

This also applies if you’re a compulsive spender. It is very easy to get lost in seeking all the pleasures of life, I mean who no like better thing. But, you should ask yourself if you can afford it. If you know you can’t,  ask yourself if it is necessary. Make a list of the things you spend on per month and begin to make adjustments by taking out the unnecessaries. For example, you can cut down on eating out and prepare your own meals at home.

EDUCATE YOURSELF

You stand a smaller chance of making the wrong decisions with your money if you are financially literate. Educating yourself about money is a huge step in fixing your relationship with money. It helps you understand your finances and ensures you make smarter and prudent financial decisions. A 2015 Nigerian Financial Inclusion Survey revealed that financial illiteracy in urban areas is pegged at 31.1% while in rural areas it is 68.5%. This is sad because it means that a lot of Nigerians have little or no knowledge of money and how it works.

To become financially literate, you should read books on personal finance. Arese Ugwu’s  Smart Money Woman series (shameless plug!) are a good start as she uses real-life scenarios to break down some complex financial issues. You could also read blogs and magazines (like this one you’re currently reading *winks*).  If possible, take financial literacy courses.

TAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF

Rome, they say, was not built in a day. Even a one-bedroom apartment sef, you can’t build  in a day. So why do you constantly beat yourself up for making wrong financial choices? The concept of fixing your relationship with money is to actually take things easy, be content and not tight the world money to your chest. Rather than spend time brooding over spilled milk, start focusing on doing things that make your relationship right with money and take it one step at a time.

Cheers!