Guilt, The Unnecessary Trip! — Lionesses of Africa

by Nontobeko Mbuyane

How many times have you agonized in guilt over a “bad” decision? Or lay awake at night stressing about how you treated someone, or words you said, or food you ate? Clearly lots of times, as the rest of mankind anyways. This week one of my memories on Facebook popped up and I found this post I had written years ago.

Guilt. We are so conditioned for guilt in our society (or at least the subculture in which I grew up). We feel guilty for everything we do. We feel guilty for everything we don’t do! We are so permeated with guilt it’s like an automated thing, like breathing. If, one day, we wake up and don’t feel guilty, we immediately feel guilty for having neglected something we ought to be feeling guilty about!

Ditch

And from that moment, years ago as I wrote that post, I decided to be done with guilt! And do you know, I have never missed it! Though one way or the other people tried to tell me that it was my responsibility to feel guilty for things. That it’s part of my human condition. That it’s my responsibility to other humans and to God. No. I was done with guilt. I laid it down that day and never picked it up again. As a matter of fact, that was the beginning of choosing my feelings. It was until recently that someone approached me asked on how I manage to keep and maintain such a cheerful and bubbly personality. I am this ever-bubbly soul. Wow, what a compliment that was! Well. I explained that if you choose each day to find something to complain about, you will be successfully miserable. Despite all of life’s troubles and challenges, just ensure that you wake up each day full of gratitude, just gratitude for the fact that you are alive. That on its own is a great blessing and deserves to be truly cherished, as opposed to feeling guilty and miserable over the things that are troubling you. Never wake up to become your troubles, never. Always let your troubles find a way of getting through to you daily and surely make it tougher for them to dominate your thoughts. Just envisage a whole lot better of your situation, and in your mind see things falling into place and walk as if you already have your prayers answered. My Pastor always teaches me to never wait for storms to pass for me to start rejoicing, but to start rejoicing immediately. I place it all on God’s hands, he’s the Master and surely knows when all will be well and ours is to thank Him beforehand. And in that way guilt has no hold over you at all.

Hints 

The truth is if you embrace the art of feeling guilt you will surely get trapped into it and its power, and gosh, guilt can be so powerful. However, if you choose to ditch it you will choose each day to find something to appreciate and be easily cheerful and happy. I always find it interesting looking back on my life and realize that I had been getting hints about how life works all along. We are so blessed with sweet guides that manage to sneak us around to joy so often. May you find joy in your day, today. It truly IS your choice. We use so many things as an excuse to be unhappy. Instead, why not look at the things that please you and use them as an excuse to be happy? If you do, it will turn your life around! And no matter what, never take the GUILT BUS, it’s such an unnecessary ride to your destination.