Stepping-stones to your goals — Lionesses of Africa

by Dr Alison Hofer & Angelique Adcock

When students ask me how they should go about achieving their life goals, my answer is always “Work Backwards”. Sometimes you are fortunate enough to have wise people around you to support and guide you. Sometimes you must figure it out yourself, and this is where the “Work backward’ method is just genius.

This mind-opening concept is one I learned at an Education Centre in New Zealand, the Auckland Secondary Schools’ Centre (A.S.S.C.), where youth, who were at risk of being permanently expelled from schools, had a last chance to turn their lives around. As a training teacher at University of Auckland’s Education Department, I got to spend time there learning strategies for supporting youngsters who were lost or lacked the motivation to stay at school at all. Many brilliant teachers and youth guidance experts worked there, and of the many invaluable skills I learned there, my favourite was this concept: set goals, and figure out how to get there!

For teenagers the demand to figure out their life goals can be unnerving. But in my career as a lecturer and coach, I have learned that even adults can lose their way. I have lost count of the adult learners I’ve taught who are back at school to re-mould their lives. Our goals and motivation in life can get very frayed as we go along dealing with the realities of adult living. And so, slowly, I adapted the fabulous core concept I learned in New Zealand until I found that it helps to build a map of stepping-stones backwards – toward your life dreams!” It may sound odd, but bear with me. It’s a life-changing, and sometimes life-‘saving’ idea!

At the A.S.S.C. they would ask the teens: “Who wants a million dollars?” – of course they all did. Then they followed by asking a simple but brilliant question, “Okay, so how are you going to get it?” The immediate answers, from laughing teens of course, were ‘winning the lotto’ or ‘robbing a bank’. But once the conversation turned more serious – it did not take long to point out to the youth that if they planned their lives right, and applied good work ethic and self- discipline, they could make plans and get there.

So now, when I am approached with this common worry: “I have this dream, but don’t know how to ever achieve it”, I take their goal and we work backwards, plotting out a chart of clear and defined steps to actively take, starting then and there.

Take the example of becoming a professional actor. This is a tricky one because there are no guarantees of success, which is the reason so many parents refuse to let their child even study Drama! However, we need to look at every goal holistically. I ask, “What is it about the dream that makes you feel you want this in your life?” Often the answers to this question are very helpful and revealing. Some young ‘wanna-be’ actors have only thought about fame and money associated with being an A-list actor. For others it may be a certain quality of life that they dream of. Others want a life where they help others understand people better, want to express their emotions or be in wonderful artistic projects. In all cases there are infinite ways to grow an exciting acting career.

Once the goal is established, and all the life benefits of reaching their goal are clear, we need to work out what active, concrete steps they need to take to get there.

We start at the last ‘stepping-stone’ the one they would have been at right before they reached their goal: I ask, “What do you think had to happen just before you reached your goal?” Staying with the example of a young actor, they may say something like, “I get discovered by a director”. My next question would be about the second last stone, “So what position did you put yourself in to get discovered?” The answer here may be that they are in a successful play – think Viola Davies, Hugh Jackman, Morgan Freeman or Judy Dench for example, who all began in the theatre. It can happen that an important director sees the actor working and approaches their agent to offer them an audition in a film or other project. In another career it could be the winning of a court case, the excellent project management that led to that ultimate promotion, or doing what it takes to go run that marathon.

Now, let’s go back to the example of the actor, and look at the stepping-stone needed before they can reach the one that got them ‘discovered’. At this point I ask “How did you get into that play?”, now the answer probably will be something like, “I would have a top agent who got me an audition.. I did a great audition…and got the part”. The next question reveals the previous stepping-stone: “So, how did you get an agent?”, The answer might be, for example, “I excelled at a top Drama Department at University, and then an agent took me onto their books”. The following question I would ask is “Well how did you achieve excellence at Drama School?”. Answer: “I used the talent I knew I had, and then worked extremely hard”. I may then ask “And how did you get into Drama School?”, or “ How did you know you had talent?”. You get the idea? Backwards we go!

Now, you might be wondering: ‘What do you do when they hit a blocking boulder along the path – such as a financial obstacle?” Well, in short I ask, “What did you do to get around that problem”, the answer may be “I took a night job”. I know that those obstacles and boulders can get big, but then smart solutions have to be found. If they are not entirely sure, I guide them, we do research, discuss and draw up the unique map step by step. One actor I know had parents who would not support his acting dreams. So, in answer, to assure them that he would be alright financially, he first qualified as a lawyer, then went to acting school. This could be seen as a major detour, or even a derailing of the initial dream, but, 10 years later, he now balances his legal career and acting work, he is financially secure, but with a happy heart as he acts on TV primarily for the joy and the thrill of it..

Once we have woven our way all the way back to today, a person can see their stepping-stones laid out to success. They can also see that at times they may need to take bypasses and be delayed while they finish a necessary side-step.

It turns out that if we imagine really achieving our goals, it takes a mindful process to put real action steps in place. Interestingly, people often already know what it will take to get reach their dream, and the process points are quite logical and doable. With patience, some grit, and good life balance, we can achieve our dreams moving forward from one steppingstone to the next. But start at the end and work it out backwards!