by Laura Camacho, PhD

So many clients share with me that they feel super confident speaking up in their team meetings, when sharing with their boss, and even other stakeholders. But there are always certain situations where their minds turn to mush and they feel like confused second graders being hauled to the principal’s office. And those are precisely the meetings that can boost your visibility and let executives perceive your leadership potential.

What an irony that our brains often fail us when we most need them! Well, here’s the answer to that confidence conundrum: the Hospitality Mindset. I can already hear you thinking, “What is she talking about? This executive meeting is no dinner party – unless they decide to eat me!!”

What it is: The Hospitality Mindset is simply shifting your focus from worries of being judged to making others feel comfortable, just like they were invited guests in your living room. When people are welcome in your home, you as the hostess delight in making sure everyone is having a good time.

Communicating from the Hospitality Mindset, you get to work to put others at ease. You want everyone to feel welcome. You may not be able to offer them a cocktail, but you can ask them about themselves. Good hosts are avid listeners.

The Hospitality Mindset releases your anxiety and helps you to relax. When you relax, then others also feel comfortable and communication flows more easily.

The unexpected blessing here is that relaxing a trifle into the Hospitality Mindset comes across to others as massive confidence. No kidding! Try it and see.

When to use: The Hospitality Mindset shifts your thinking away from anxiety about how you will be judged to making others feel at ease. This mindset is the foundation of executive presence. 

The next time you feel jitters about that meeting or presentation, think of yourself as the host of that experience. That change of focus transforms the way you feel. Adopting the Hospitality Mindset means others perceive you as a confident and welcoming hostess, just the kind of person they would like to spend more time with.

Natural and organic skincare brand, Uhuru Botanicals, founded by Neo Mkwebane Chatyoka in the UK, has launched its new 100% natural Chebe hair shampoo and Chebe hair conditioner bars. Neo decided to launch the shampoo and conditioner bars in order to reduce plastic use, wastage and to encourage customers to use more sustainable products. Millions of plastic shampoo bottles are destined for landfill each year, but these shampoo and conditioner bars from Uhuru Botanicals help to reduce wastage and cut down on the carbon footprint of the business.

The new Chebe shampoo and conditioner bars from Uhuru Botanicals are made with a cocktail of aloe vera, shea butter, buriti oil and chebe powder ingredients, which whip up a luxury lather that gently dissolves any build-up while wrapping hair strands with a nourishing blend that prevents moisture loss. As a result, hair feels incredibly soft and clean. One bar works for dry and textured hair type and lasts for 60-80 washes (meaning three fewer bottles will wind up polluting our wonderful world). 

The Uhuru Botanicals natural and organic skincare range was inspired by founder Neo Mkwebane Chatyoka and her search for soothing skincare products for her baby daughter Lulu, who had eczema. Unable to find anything suitable, Neo began making her own skincare products for her family using the purest Shea Butter as the base ingredient and combining it with natural botanical oils from Africa. 

Neo says: “We chose the name Uhuru because we wanted to emphasize the importance of freeing your skin from products full of toxic chemicals. We also wanted to share Africa with the world, through natural skincare products that are Inspired by Africa.

Each product has been handcrafted with the finest natural and organic botanicals, derived from the rich soils of Africa. Our brand philosophy is that our skincare is Multi-use, Organic & natural, Vegan and Ethically produced. Our skincare is carefully formulated to naturally cleanse, nourish and restore the rich beauty of your skin.”

The new product range of 100% natural Chebe hair shampoo and Chebe hair conditioner bars can be purchased on the Uhuru Botanicals website www.uhurubotanicals.co.uk or on Amazon.

Read the startup story of Uhuru Botanicals on Lionesses of Africa here.

by Safiyyah Boolay-Jappie

I give thanks to all the teachers that came to me in the form of my mistakes.

Say after me: ‘You cannot do your life wrong!’

This is a truly tough one. For ALL of us! Especially if you’ve become addicted to self-deprecation and self-persecution. One of the biggest inhibitors of self-love and personal power is shame. The online dictionary defines shame as “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour”. No doubt, Shame is a powerful emotion that can cause us to feel defective, unacceptable, even damaged beyond repair.

Unlike guilt, shame has no upside. No benefit. No value to add. 

• When you feel shame, you’re feeling that your whole self is wrong.

• When you feel guilty, you’re making a judgment that something you’ve done is wrong.

From the day you’re are born you start the process of learning to feel okay or not okay, accepted or not accepted, in your world. Your self-esteem and worthiness was shaped by your daily experiences of being praised or criticized, lovingly disciplined or punished, taken care of or neglected. Through exposure to hostile or abusive environments you can easily get the message that you’re undeserving, inadequate, and inferior. In other words, that you should feel ashamed.

Over time, intense feelings of shame can take hold of a person’s self-image and create low self-esteem. Feelings of shame often stem from what other people think. You may become super-sensitive to what feels like criticism, even if it isn’t, and may feel rejected by others. Inside, you feel powerlessness, self-contempt and even worthlessness. Serious problems occur when shame gets deeply woven into a person’s self-image and sense of self-worth.

What does this have to do with Mistakes? 

Well, believe it or not, mistakes are the product of the best choices you could make in any particular context. A version of you that came before the version you are now, saw the ‘mistaken action’ as the only or the best viable option. Mistake making is such a fundamental part of the human process and the learning process. When mistake making becomes conflated with shame instead of growth, they become painful burdens to bear, instead of the teachers and the venerable gate-keepers to our wisdom. 

The difference between learning from our mistakes or being entombed in shame by them is our perspective. Today’s prompt is about guiding you to discover the mistakes that drown you in shame. Choose a new perspective. One that serves you. One that honours the past version of you and that allows the current version of you to benefit from experience. Releasing the past version of you from shame, not only allows you to learn from her; it also allows this present version of you to be released from shame. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!/BONNE FETE!

Related Posts

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

by Anja van Beek 

Enough has been said about the impact of the pandemic, burn-out and the “always-on” culture.  We all had to unlearn things, adjust to working whilst being at home (and home-schooling kids), adapting to virtual ways of collaboration and using new technologies. In such a technology world, not all of us have mastered the skill (yes, I said skill) to switch off from work. Most of us will take a few days to really relax and ironically, this is generally the time most will go back to work. For some, it is especially difficult to switch off if your colleagues or manager, in other areas of the world, continue to work while you are on your holiday.

Working longer hours or never feeling like you’re away from work can be harmful to your mental and physical health, so the always-working, no-time-off paradigm is a problem.

Some progressive countries have identified this as a red flag and have implemented leave legislation that provides guidelines to allow employees to take a proper break. For instance, in Portugal, the law states “Companies should avoid contacting workers outside office hours, except under exceptional circumstances.” Their neighbouring country, France, has similar legislation in place “a right to disconnect from all devices, and the implementation of rules to regulate the use of digital devices to ensure observance of rest time and leave and personal and family life.” 

We need more of this!

Research has found that long working hours led to 745 000 deaths from stroke and ischemic heart disease in 2016, a 29% increase since 2000, according to the estimates by the World Health Organization and the International Labour Organization published in Environment International.

The study concludes that working 55 or more hours per week is associated with an estimated 35% higher risk of a stroke and a 17% higher risk of dying from ischemic heart disease, compared to working 35-40 hours a week.

What makes matters worse, the recent travel bans and also the massive fuel hike in South Africa, will have an impact on people that have planned an away holiday, with the likelihood of potentially cancelling it – which will also have a mental impact on people not taking their planned leave anymore as they cannot afford it.

We know the saying that leaders need to walk the talk. So, how is this applicable to taking leave? Here are three tips to “leave” by example:

Corporate athletes understand the importance of recovery

Many of us yearn for a change of scenery, and studies show that holidays are beneficial for a variety of reasons. Rest and time away improve resilience, allowing people to cope better with the unavoidable setbacks at work.

It provides a perspective that can help people see new solutions to problems, and it gives people a chance to pursue other life goals, like spending time with loved ones.

You’ll get the most out of a holiday if you’re not exhausted (or burnt out) when it starts. When people are in desperate need of a vacation to recover, it usually takes a few days for them to clear their heads and get into vacation mode.

If you don’t need it right now, you may be more present right away and fully appreciate the benefits of time off.

Your ability to perform in high-pressure situations is greatly influenced by how you care for your body.

High performing individuals, aka corporate athletes, understand that there should be a balance between stress (energy expenditure) and recovery (energy renewal). They are aware that being in survival mode most of the time is a red flag for any individual. Think of an athlete which has a rest and recovery time during the off-season. High performers or corporate athletes need a proper break to replenish their energy.

But, an annual break isn’t sufficient. Prioritise your day by dividing it into regular shorter breaks. Steer away from back-to-back meetings and create rituals for the teams to do a mindful check-ins.

Close off the year as a team. Reflect retrospectively

As a team, create a ritual of closing off the year in a deliberate way. Most people can relate with outstanding or incomplete items taking up space in your mind – especially as your planned leave is nearing. An easy way to ensure we all can have a “worry-free” holiday and not ruminate about work, is to do a retrospective.

Have a team conversation about what worked well, take time to celebrate it, also talk about what needs to change and what outstanding items do the team need to be aware of, or consider prioritizing these items.

Ensure that you address the elephants in the room; discuss unresolved issues. Have the courage to prioritise the challenging conversations about team members not taking accountability or respecting one another. Instead of being silent about these issues have honest and respectful conversations to ensure your team members properly switch off from work.

Become mindfully present

 A valuable lesson that I’ve learnt over the years, especially as an ambitious working mom with younger kids, was to be mindfully present. So often our minds wander in different directions (thinking about the next presentation or the exco meeting earlier the day) – whereas, instead, you should be focusing on your kids and be present in the moment.

A practical exercise is to monitor how many hours you spend ruminating about work. Keep a record of this and you may be surprised how much time and energy you are wasting.

Secondly, define your own “psychological leave ritual” — similar to changing clothes and putting on your slacks after a workday. Do the same before going on leave.

Here are a few other tips to consider:

• Write your list of to-do-items for your first work-week back, schedule your meetings in advance (preferably not your first workday!);

• Be proactive: Before your holiday, discuss and agree on a plan with your manager to ensure there’s cover for your work tasks in your absence;

• Do craft a helpful “Out of Office” reply saying who can be contacted in case of emergency;

• If you are part of a team, agree upfront that, should there be a crisis, to not use e-mail communication but rather a WhatsApp or a phone call.

• Some people even prefer to delete all work-related apps from their phones.

Last thought

The holiday is a good time to naturally enhance the neurotransmitters in your brain. They affect your mood, memory, sleep, libido and appetite. Naturally increase these neurotransmitters by spending time in nature, exercising daily and enjoying healthy foods. Do a gratitude jar with your loved ones, reflect, list and share things you are grateful for.

If you find yourself agreeing with these pointers and still struggling to switch off, I encourage you to simply permit yourself to take a well-deserved break without interruptions. This will help you to return to work well-rested and energized to tackle 2022 head-on.

From my family to yours, wishing to a blessed festive season.